...Sweet Charity (1969)

There's something about this film version of the musical Sweet Charity that is just oft-putting although I'm not sure if it is the overproduction, Charity's overdesperation, or the film's overlength. Shirley MacLaine as the titular dance hall hostess is only middling and tends to grate as the film reaches it's denouement. The classic soundtrack (including Big Spender, If My Friends Could See Me Now, There's Gotta Be Something Better Than This, et. al.) is incredible but, like the movie poster pictured, the movie itself is just wonderful musical segments (directed and choreographed by Bob Fosse, no less) stitched together by an unsatisfying, confusing and outdated story.

...They (2002)

They is presented by Wes Craven as a horror film but with no real thrills where's the horror? The story, about children and their adult selves with night terrors, apes the much better Darkness Falls and becomes more annoying as it wears on. The PG-13 rating doesn't help because with no story and no blood and guts I ask again, where's the horror?

...Back to School (1986)

Rodney Dangerfield hits one out of the park in this classic comedy about a rich man who goes Back to School with his college freshman son. It is pure Dangerfield as the self-deprecating one-liners come so fast and furious that if you laugh, you might miss one. Sally Kellerman, a young Robert Downey, Jr. and Oingo Boingo add romance, quirk and music respectively but I'm telling you, don't laugh.

...The Rocker (2008)

Beginning with a wafer-thin premise, The Rocker does bring some genuine laughs after YouTube enters the mix. Rainn Wilson is Jack Black, Christina Applegate a 21st century Jean Arthur, and the high schoolers that make up Wilson's band A.D.D. are suitably nerdy (Josh Gad), emo (Teddy Geiger) and angry (Emma Stone) in this (almost) Capra-esque take on a wronged rock drummer who gets a second chance at success. It plays a little to close to This is Spinal Tap at times but emotions do swell (a little) when things are righted - which is not a spoiler in this type of movie.

...Island of the Dead (2000)

Island of the Dead is a direct to DVD release with a fascinating concept and not much execution. Despite the title there are no zombies - only flies (a la The Swarm) that protect the dead on New York's Hart Island, a real island east of the Bronx which is a cemetery for the unknown corpses that pile up in the Big Apple. The movie plods along rather slowly but I did finish it and am now dying to go to Hart Island although this was not filmed there and the general public is not allowed.

Mirrors (2008)

Alejandre Aja is a master storyteller and filmmaker, and Mirrors, a horror film about mirrors that kill, is intriguing despite some blatant plot holes and an inconsistent ending. Mostly the concept, ripped off from a Korean film called Into The Mirror, drew me in and kept me guessing. After Haute Tension and the remake of The Hills Have Eyes, this Keifer Sutherland picture keeps me on the Aja train.

...The Most Dangerous Game (1932)

With scenes of (Leslie Banks as) a hunter preying on human game, it's easy to see how The Most Dangerous Game was a shocking and controversial film in its day. Although it still contains some great camera work and effects (the film makers went on to create King Kong in 1933), in today's era of torture porn, the punch given the last half of the film seems more silly than horrific. Joel McCrea and Fay Wray fight and scream (respectively) well enough but not enough to capture today's most dangerous game...the 21st century audience.

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...Night of the Living Dead 3D (2006)

Night of the Living Dead 3D is a badly lit Russian nesting doll reimagining that adds a reason for the zombie attacks as well as Sid Haig (the lead psycho from Rob Zombie's House of 1000 Corpses) in the type of creeper role at which he excels. Most of the other actors are terrible (excepting Brianna Brown as Barb) and the filmmakers cop out on the flesh eating scenes although they try hard to make it an homage by interspersing clips from the hallowed original in to the mix. But, unless they made ka-jillions of dollars (which would be hard to imagine much less reimagine), I can't understand why this was made; it certainly was not in three dimensions when I saw it.

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...The Swarm (1978)

OMG, it's took me nine months to get through Irwin Allen's all star bee fest The Swarm. The movie veers from interesting to camp as illustrated by a genuinely touching scene in which Slim Pickens' (in his only appearance) and Henry Fonda give first rate performances coupled with the groan-worthy groan of Golden Girl Olivia De Havilland at the school window as she watches the children get stung to death. At almost three hours, The Swarm is just too dull for its length; even stars like Michael Caine, Katherine Ross, Richard Widmark, Patty Duke, and Lee Grant (and some good explosions if you disregard the denouement) made it barely watchable over the gestation period I gave it.

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...The Virgin Spring (1960)

Ingmar Bergman's The Virgin Spring (known in Swedish as Jungfrukällan) is the fastest slow-moving movie I have ever seen. Not as visceral as the über remake The Last House On The Left (1973 version) or its distant cousin I Spit On Your Grave, it still packs a punch and has some exquisite black and white cinematography. Unfortunately the characters and costumes have been parodied so often that they almost look parodic, and it bogs down in religious symbolism (to affirm despite the rape, murder and revenge story) which many might say is its raison d'etre but I found annoying.

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[REC] (2007)

Although it ends up a decent virus that turns people into people-eating people movie in the horror filmed with a video camera cannon, [REC] also falls into the people in horror movies are so stupid genre. There are many places where the people in horror movies are so stupid action outweighs the horror filmed with a video camera aspect but the ending, although not the must lucid, is certainly interesting with its 90º turn into The Exorcist territory. There are also some good jump out of your seat scenes and Manuela Velasco as the television reporter is excellent but mostly I think it all works because, not counting the credits, the movie is only 70 minutes long.

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The Belle of 14th Street (1967)

The most fascinating thing about The Belle of 14th Street is that Barbra Streisand had the power and the moxie to get it made and put it on television; but like anything that attempts to entertain in modules not all are equal. Streisand shines throughout though and is ably supported by Jason Robards, Lee Allen and...um...herself. Young Barbra (when she had a sense of humor) is the best Barbra and this special is special.




I see a few instances of NINA, do you?

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...Rogue (2007)

An American writer who inexplicably explains why he has no computer in the Australian outback, an Australian tour guide who inexplicably endangers the lives of her paying customers, a dying lady who isn't dying (twice!) and all sorts of other broad characters are food in Rogue, a passable (not plausible) to ridiculous movie that was allowed to be made only because of the director's earlier success with Wolf Creek. Radha Mitchell (so good in Silent Hill) is passable (not plausible) probably because the story relies on too many forced situations. It's a killer crocodile but even killer croc fans, despite some decent computer generated imagery, would be hard-pressed not to see the wires in this flick.

...Garbage! The Revolution Starts at Home (2009)

If there is one easy thing every family can take away after watching the documentary Garbage! The Revolution Starts at Home it's that wrapping paper is not recyclable so don't buy it or use it! And there's plenty more to learn from this record of one family's garbage - if only it were half as popular as, for example, The Dark Knight. Watch it and allow its lessons to seep into your daily life.

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...Pineapple Express (Theatrical) (2008)

I revisited this movie but this time watched the theatrical version and, from a high level (no pun intended, really), Pineapple Express is the spear, stoner version of Outrageous Fortune - two innocent, main characters (Seth Rogen and a very cute James Franco) get involved with murder and crime (or go further back and liken it to Billy Wilder's classic Some LIke It Hot). There are some genuinely funny moments but the pop guns and over-the-top violent non-violence do tend to drag it down. Probably not worth viewing except from a high level (pun intended).

...The Plague (2006)

It is 24 hours later and I am watching another horror movie with mutant, murdering children called similarly enough The Plague. Like the other movie, I found myself in the middle of a plague that is never explained and then ends. So, if you must see one, see the other - if you know what I mean.

...Plague Town (2008)

Plague Town drops you in the middle of something, never explains what it is, and then ends (with a nod towards the inevitable sequel) excepting you to be happy. Considering how slow the first half of the movie is one might expect a little plague back-story but it just stays in front and interest soon wanes. There's some tension and some middling effects but, en toto, the movie is nothing to ride into town for.

...Away We Go (2009)

Who knew Maya Rudolph had the chops? The Saturday Night Live veteran and John Krasinski (of The Office) shine in Away We Go, director Sam Mendes's bright and beautiful, sweet and funny tale of a pregnant couple on a road trip. A bunch of solid supporting performances and an excellently written script make this one a must see: an intelligent film that's both comedy and drama, but life.

...Stage Struck (1958)

Susan Strasberg gives a cringe-inducing performance of the likes rarely seen in the otherwise midly interesting theatrical rags-to-riches story, Stage Struck. Everything surrounding her performance might have made for a better picture had a different actress been cast as the central character (although I knew it was going to be bad when they handed her a pin wheel in Times Square during the credits). Henry Fonda, Christopher Plummer, Herbert Marshall and director Sidney Lumet try but not even the New York City photography belies Strasberg's left-field caricature of Katherine Hepburn or the age of this story - which I found out halfway through my viewing was Katherine Hepburn's 1933 vehicle, Morning Glory.

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...The Reaping (2007)

The Reaping starts out religiously enough but with ten plagues to squeeze into the story it becomes overburdened by the sheer weight of the undertaking. I do like Hilary Swank best in her populous roles (of which this is one) as opposed to her Oscar-winning roles (of which this is not one) and she looks phenomenal throughout but there's not much else of note. Skip it.

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...A Star is Born (1954)

A Star is Born is an absolutely perfect musical drama starring Judy Garland as an amalgam of Esther Blodgett, Vicki Lester and...um...Judy Garland. She, the music, the script,and James Mason are phenomenal. Take a look at the artistry (as directed by George Cukor) and see for yourself.

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Forgetting Sarah Marshall (2008)

I called my mother who told me she had just started watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall; fifteen or so minutes into our conversation she said, "Ugh, I don't need to see these sex scenes." Sorry mom but the acrobatic sex scenes to which you are referring are, indeed, very funny and the whole movie is charming and well-written, that resting primarily on the shoulders of actor/screenwriter Jason Segel. Director Nicholas Stoller added his 2¢ by casting the charmingly bitchy Kristin Bell, the adorably natural Mila Kunis and the hysterically funny Russell Brand - making this one movie I won't soon forget.

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Marty (1955)

Marty is a day in the life of two dogs that ain't such dogs as they think they are. Academy Award winner Ernest Borgnine and Betsy Blair are sweetly touching in this honest and romantic story of their search for love in spite of self-perceived limitations. Not to be too trite but, they don't make 'em like this anymore.

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...The Cheat (1915)

Fannie Ward turns from Doris Day to Angelina Jolie (and back again with innocence intact) when she becomes The Cheat in this silent film. Like most films of the 1910s, this one is over-dressed and over-acted although, in its defense, it stars an Asian man, Sessue Hayakawa, who brands a Caucasian woman with a hot poker who herself rips off her clothes in the climactic courtroom scene - not too common occurrences in films of the time. Still it gets bogged down in histrionics and becomes more of a curio (Cecil B. DeMille's second film) than a film worth its salt.

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...Next Stop Greenwich Village (1976)

Overlong and a bit too precious (particularly when its characters act and dance through the streets of New York City), Next Stop Greenwich Village is writer/director Paul Mazursky's cinematic ode to his own formative story. Unfortunately Lenny Baker's characterization as the lead belies his theatrical roots with histrionics; his performance would come through better in a campy, silent film. The supporting ladies (Shelley Winters, Ellen Greene, Dori Brenner and Lois Smith) and gents (Christopher Walken and Antonio Fargas) fare best and hold viewer interest on their own but it was supposed to be about Larry Lapinsky, right?