All of Me (1984)

The 1984 comedy All of Me is unbelievably ho-hum and not intrinsically funny. Steve Martin is excellent and Lily Tomlin is...well...Lily Tomlin so the movie holds some interest but its no silk purse. To this day it remains a mystery to me how this movie became a huge box office hit.

---

Near Dark (1987)

With all the vampiric blood-sucking in current entertainment, it's nice that Near Dark never mentions the word. They are simply serial killers. Kudos to writer/director Kathryn Bigelow because it's an intelligent film for anyone but especially for fans of Bill Paxton, Adrian Pasdar, Lance Henrikson and the little girl from Beaches (no, not Blossom).

---

The Exorcism of Emily Rose (2005)

The Exorcism of Emily Rose is a courtroom drama with horrific flashbacks; it's cerebrially horrific. It's also highly watchable. Laura Linney is excellent as a lawyer defending priest Tom Wilkinson against murder charges for his exorcism of Jennifer Carpenter in all her demoned-out glory.

---

Precious (2009)

No horror film has made me gasp like Precious. No romantic comedy has made me feel as joyous as Precious. Precious is of great value.

---

High Society (1956)

High Society is nothing more than Bing Crosby, Frank Sinatra and Grace Kelly play acting the much better The Philadelphia Story. It's a musical but that is pushing it as the mostly trite Cole Porter tunes seem haphazardly thrown in. The saving grace is the swinging presence of maestro Louis Armstrong and his band, and the classy presence of maestra Celeste Holm who looks phenomenal and manages to create an actual character.

---

The Gathering (2002)

An interesting myth about the Catholic Church (aren't they all?) is mingled with a well-known fact about the Catholic Church to create The Gathering, a watchable film about the beginnings of the Catholic Church. It's not particularly thrilling but it does maintain interest as Christina Ricci bounces around the English town of Ashby Wake trying to figure out why she is in a tee shirt seeing visions. It's benign.

---

Splinter (2008)

Splinter might be a very short, B-movie but it delivers the tension as a creepy, pointy thing invades a bunch of people who have locked themselves in an isolated gas station for safety. The actors (Paulo Costanzo, Jill Wagner, Shea Wigham) are uniformly good but the script does veer into the ridiculous and plagiaristic territory that B-movies often do. The best aspect, though, is that the special effects are NOT created using CGI!

---

P.S. I Love You (2007)

P.S. I Love You is a story about loss and recovery that has it all. There's an intriguing story with a funny and touching script (that does have some minor issues), a stellar cast (Hilary Swank, Gerard Butler, Lisa Kudrow, Gina Gershon, Kathy Bates, Harry Connick Jr., Nellie McKay), phenomenal music (the CD is worth owning) and directorial pedigree (writer/director Richard LaGravenese of Living Out Loud). Don't pass this off as just some chick flick - although you should prepare yourself for a tear or two...or three.

---

Adrift (2008)

Director Hans Horn has done a good job of conveying feelings of claustrophobia in what is essentially a huge space. But although the ocean is terrifying in Adrift (also known as Open Water 2), the script has a few ridiculous plot points and you don't have to be a rocket scientist to guess who dies at the end in the beginning. Still, character development helped and ultimately I think this one did a better job than its ersatz predecessor Open Water.

---

100 Films and a Funeral (2007)

100 Films and a Funeral is a dry yet interesting documentary about PolyGram Filmed Entertainment, an independent film company (part of Polygram Records) that soared in the 90s and crashed in the almost 00s. After producing films such as Four Weddings and a Funeral, Fargo and Trainspotting PFE went off the mark with dreck such as Poseidon and imploded. This story does much to explain the difference between film as an art and film as a business.

---

Leviathan (1989)

I know, let's make Alien again but put it 16,000 feet below the surface of the Atlantic Ocean and instead of having the monster rip OUT of your belly, let's have it rip INTO your belly. We'll hire some solid B-list actors (like Peter Weller, Meg Foster, Ernie Hudson, Richard Crenna), create a relatively creepy shapeshifting monster, and end it almost like they ended The Poseidon Adventure. We'll call it Leviathan but make sure we don't show too much of the monster; we have to save money to make money.

---

2012 (2009)

Click for my thoughts on 2012. It's a movie directed by Roland Emmerich. I needed more than three lines to get it off my chest.

---

The Curse of the Cat People (1944)

The Curse of the Cat People is a sequel in actors and title to the 1942 film Cat People. The real story concerns the imaginary friend of a 10 year old girl (beautifully played by Ann Carter) who just happens to be Simone SImon, the cat lady of the first film. Elizabeth Russell (seemingly producer Val Lewton's muse) has a bigger (and different) role this go round but again it's more fantastical Dr. Seuss than horror and certainly not a real sequel.

---

Cat People (1942)

The classic horror film Cat People is really less classic horror and more black and white mood piece than its reputation would have you believe. It's poetic to watch the shadows and light but the film's interest is more historical than horror. Simone SImon is mesmerizingly good and Elizabeth Russell has a memorably brief scene but you might pass on this if you're not a film student.

---

The Bride Work Black (1968)

Director Francois Truffaut's fascination with Alfred Hitchcock reached its apex with The Bride Wore Black, a Hitchcockian tale with no suspense starring Jean Moreau (of the Betty Davis face) as the woman denied her walk down the aisle. You almost know what's going on when she dons the darkside threads to dish out a cool style of revenge but the story keeps unfolding anyway to an inevitable conclusion. It's not the best Hitchcock homage that's been filmed but the cinematography of the French locations is breathtakingly real and Moreau's Pierre Cardin clothing is loud and proud.

---

Manhunter (1986)

Five years before the onslaught of The Silence of the Lambs there was Manhunter - what can only be described as the sword and spear version of the former. And that's a good thing. It's cerebral and not very gory but the tension created by director Michael Mann and excellent performances from William Peterson, Tom Noonan and Joan Allen (among many) bring it on home.

---

Night Must Fall (1937)

What is the deal with Night Must Fall? It's supposed to be a thrilling murder mystery of yore but the murderer is revealed (for all intents and purposes) early on so there is no mystery. I guess people like the photography and maybe at one time it had chills but now, although a pleasure to watch Rosalind, Russell, Robert Montgomery and Dame Mae Whitty, it's a little stage bound and traditionally British.

---

Curse of the Forty-Niner (2002)

Karen Black can do no wrong when it comes to acting but when it comes to choosing the films in which she acts, well that's another story and Miner's Massacre (aka Curse of the Forty-Niner) tells it. How the producer managed to get her, John Phillip Law, Richard Lynch and Jeff Conaway for this laughable story of a dead miner protecting his gold claim is beyond comprehension. I guess times are hard everywhere.

---

Death Becomes Her (1992)

Sorry Goldie Hawn, Meryl Streep and Bruce Willis but taste trumps talent in Death Becomes Her - bad taste that is. The comedy is SO not funny and the story is SO not, even in its fantastical elements, interesting to watch. The special effects are good and the ladies might have had a fun time making the film because of it but, that alone doesn't mean this one is worth the time it took to finish.

---

Drop Dead Diva Season One (2009)

I just love Drop Dead Diva. Brooke Elliot carries the show as the plain Jane who wakes up with a supermodel's soul although she does get able support from the rest of the cast (including Margaret Cho) and guest stars (Liza Minnelli and Delta Burke as sisters?) It's a guilty pleasure but it's a pleasure.

---

Carver (2008)

Carver is derived from every other horror film in which five people are tortured and (possibly?) killed by one (or more) back country bumpkins. The actual reels filmed by the bumpkins as the horror takes place adds a twist but not enough of one to make the movie more interesting. Another twist is the addition of fecal matter which doesn't make the movie more interesting either.

---

District 9 (2009)

What is the deal about District 9 (produced by Peter Jackson for that worth)? It was sometimes mildly enervating but ultimately not very appealing. I left the theatre twenty five minutes into it I was that bored.

---

Romy and Michele's High School Reunion (1997)

I love Romy and Michele's High School Reunion. Mira Sorvino and Lisa Kudrow are blonde and blonder in this adaptation of a play I saw in Los Angeles in 1989 with Lisa Kudrow. It's funny and light, has Janeane Garofalo, Alan Cumming and Camryn Manheim in addition to the titulars, and the 80s music is to die for.

---

Daughter of the Mind (1969)

Seances and sleeper spies (that's what they called them in the 60s) are at the heart of Daughter of the Mind, an ABC Movie of the Week which I had remembered fondly. Watching it low these forty years later, I was pleasantly surprised to see Gene Tierney in this story of a man (Ray Milland) who is being visited by the ghost of his dead daughter - the ubiquitous Pamelyn Ferdin. Not as scary as I had remembered, it does have an element of interest although the denouement was something I figured out way before the 90 minutes were up.

---

Bonnie & Clyde: The True Story (1992)

The made-for-television Bonnie & Cyde: The True Story might have the facts correct but it doesn't have the glamour and excitement of its more famous large screen forebear. Betty Buckley steals the show as Bonnie's mother and Tracey Needham as Bonnie is fine (once you lose the memory of Faye Dunaway) but Dana Ashbrook as Clyde seems like he popped off the stage of an 'N Sync concert. Although the first half keeps interest it loses steam towards the end when the most exciting part, their death, is relegated to offscreen status.

---