The Legend of Lizzie Borden (1975)

After Elizabeth Montgomery made her career as a cute television witch, she turned her sights to portraying a fancy, historical bitch and drew raves from critics and audiences alike. The Legend of Lizzie Borden purports to solve the centuries old murder of Borden's parents and does it with style and significance. It's criminal (ba dump bump) that this movie has not had a home release; it's well-made and a true crime stunner that's involving and fascinating.

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Romy and Michelle: In The Beginning (2005)

OMFG, Romy and Michele: In The Beginning puts Katherine Heigl (blech!) and Alex Breckinridge (who?) screen center as younger and paler imitations of the characters from the beloved original who move to Los Angeles (again). This claptrap was written (and directed) by the same author (Robin Schiff) but has none of the intelligence or heart. Paula Abdul shows up for a paycheck as did, it seems, everyone ese.

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They Live (1988)

They Live is a freaky science fiction flick with a great lead performance by Roddy Piper, an awesome script by the pseudonymous John Carpenter, and careful direction from the real John Carpenter. Piper is a hot hunk (in great jeans, no less) who is able to see underneath people's skins to tell if they are an alien. This effect is done very well and is scary which gives the film, along with its other good qualities, a fascinating authenticity.

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The China Syndrome (1979)

Despite the polyester and wide lapels, The China Syndrome is still a relevant and troubling film about an accident in a nuclear power plant. The acting is excellent with stars Jane Fonda, Jack Lemmon and Michael Douglas joined by a stellar supporting cast including Peter Donat and Wilford Brimley. In an interesting subplot, the film fictionalizes the 1974 death of Karen Silkwood which was, itself, made into a movie starring Meryl Streep and Cher some four years later.

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Monsters (2010)

Monsters puts unlikeable protagonists on a journey to safety through alien-infected Mexico (no pun intended). Nothing much happens since the relationship between the protagonists - and not the aliens themselves - is the story, and the two people in the relationship are whining brats. There is a smidge of alienity but not enough to counteract having to watch the dregs of humanity.

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Come September (1961)

Come September has one thing in its favor: Gina Lollobrigida. This Italian bombshell is so tantalizing she can even get a rise (albeit a small one) out of pathetic co-star Rock Hudson. But when real-life newlyweds Sandra Dee and Bobby Darin are thrown in as a couple of doe-eyed teens, I couldn't wait for September to leave.

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Red (2010)

Mary-Louise Parker lives out the adventurous romance novels she has only read when CIA man Bruce Willis drops by for a visit in RED, an action film that does not condescend. The script has some genuine laughs including putting Dame Helen Mirren (in a somewhat obvious performance) behind a gun. It's nice to see actors of a certain age getting into the rough and tumble

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Arizona (1940)

With Jean Arthur playing a MILF who knows how to use a gun AND how to bake a pie AND how to get the younger William Holden (in a very early role) as her husband, Arizona might be the first pre-feminist feminist western. The film does an excellent job of conveying the rough and ready 1800s.

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The Devil Within Her (1975)

Joan Collins is quite effective as the put-upon mom who has The Devil Within Her (titled I Don't Want To Be Born in the UK) in this 1975 stew of The Omen and The Exorcist, sprinkled with a dash of The Bad Seed. The evil dwarf and Sister/sister subplots are a little hard to take but the baby daddy drama is involving. Oh, and if you like cuteness, the possessed baby is very cute.

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The Town That Dreaded Sundown (1976)

A somewhat slow-moving potboiler that has enough blood to give it horror credentials, The Town That Dreaded Sundown is based on the true story of a serial killer that preyed on Texarkana, AK and Texarkana, TX during the late 40s. The movie is a precursor to the 80s slasher films without the jumps. Ben Johnson as the top cop and Dawn Wells in a small yet pivotal role as a victim are fine but it's just a rundown story.

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The Invasion (2007)

Despite my distaste for Nicole Kidman and her plastic face, my desire to see The Invasion, the remake of two previous classic body snatcher films, was very high. There are slight differences to the story that does not detract and the first two thirds of the film was involving. But the last third contained action sequences that came out of nowhere and had a tacked on happy ending that snatched the whole movie-going experience from my body.

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The Screaming Woman (1972)

Olivia de Havilland earned her creepy-sweet chops before The Screaming Woman, a 1972 ABC Movie of the Week film presentation, but for this creepy-sweet performance she winningly recalls her 1948 Oscar winning role in The Snake Pit as a woman just released from an institution who hears the voice of another women buried under a foundation on her property. The script, loosely based on a Ray Bradbury story, is not a mystery as we are witness to all the comings and goings but there are some genuinely thrilling moments and frightening shots - and de Havilland can scream with the best of them. They really don't make television movies like this anymore so it would behoove you to check it out on my YouTube channel.






Visit braineater.com for more info on The Screaming Woman

* The Screaming Woman is considered in the public domain.

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The Well (1951)

The Well is an uncompromising, racially charged drama that pits white against black amidst the investigation into the disappearance of a black female child. Although the idiocy of the white racist characters comes off the worst, the film does not pander by putting the black characters on a pedestal. Yes, this story has been done before (life imitated art a little over a decade ago) but The Well still never ceases to make me well up - with anger and with joy.

Click the poster to read more on The Well

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Garbo Talks (1984)

The legacy of Greta Garbo is such that the only time Garbo Talks (a movie that uses her appearance on screen as a denouement) comes alive is when Garbo herself is on screen - and she is silently portrayed by an actress! The movie itself is a pastiche of events in the life of a guy as he runs around New York City trying to find the legendary recluse for a visit with his dying mother (Anne Bancroft in an over-the-top performance as a Jewish mother that was almost distasteful). The film's creators ladled on the quirk factor while sprinkling emotion only slightly in this one.

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The Thaw (2009)

The Thaw is surprisingly creepy with bugs crawling out of people's skin, hypodermic needles and hatchet amputations. It's also an involving treatise on global warming offering a good and plausible story. It's also really creepy.

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Berserk! (1967)

A 64 year old Joan Crawford boards a hunky, 30 years young Ty Hardin in Berserk!, a murder mystery set in the world of a British circus troupe. Crawford looks phenomenal (as does Mr. Hardin) and there are some good supporting players (including a To Sir With Love-era Judy Geeson) that add to the camp value initiated by the lines that Crawford delivers. Circus fans might like the extended scenes (filmed in 1967) of real circus elephant and dog acts through which I fast forwarded.




Check out this
more informative review of Berserk! on Black Hole.

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The Children's Hour (1961)

The Children's Hour is Lillian Hellman's heart-breaking tale of two women and the gossip that destroys them. Audrey Hepburn and (especially) Shirley MacLaine are mesmerizing as the women and Miriam Hopkins turns the table by appearing as the gossipmonger (as opposed to the Shirley MacLaine role she played in the first filmization, These Three in 1936). Kudos to all involved for keeping the gossip as it was written.

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Arizona (1940)

I'm not a fan of westerns but Arizona is a a high-falutin', scootin', rootin', tootin shoot 'em up with an involving plot about civilizing the Tucson territory and two excellent performances by Jean Arthur and her very young (1940!) and very handsome love interest, William Holden. The black and white photography (shot on desert locations) is stunning and the action scenes (including wagon train attacks and a cattle stampede) are thrilling. And the lead character (Phoebe Titus as portrayed by Ms. Arthur) who uses her wits to build her businesses (and the territory) surely makes this the first post-modern feminist western - years before Johnny Guitar.


Download this out-of-print movie
with the instructions provided here;
the content was not uploaded by me.

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Play Time (1967)

Had Robert Altman decided to make a cinematic ballet it might feel a lot like Jacques Tati's 1967 film, Playtime. The barest outline of a story follows Tati as Monseiur Hulot through his day in Paris, meeting friends and strangers with barely audible words, and ending at a raucous jazz club party. The lack of a compelling narrative might bore some but I found the film fascinating to watch and now see where Mad Men got it's signature look.

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Rise Of The Planet Of The Apes (2011)

Had I known that James Franco played a scientist rather than an ape (à la Roddy MacDowell) in Rise Of The Planet Of The Apes I would not have rushed to the cheap movie theatre to see it. Had I known that the only apes I would see were created with computers but with no genitals, I would have passed on the 3:10 showing. But I didn't know; I didn't know.

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Trilogy of Terror (1975)

The 70's brought us many scary 72 minute (sans commercials) ABC Movie Of The Week films but none have maintained such a high profile as Trilogy of Terror starring Karen Black and a horrifying African doll. The first two stories (Julie and Millicent and Therese) are involving with good acting by Ms. Black but Amelia, the third in the trilogy, is truly terrifying. I can still here the sound that little freakin' doll makes as I write this review.

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EdgePlay: A Film About The Runaways (2004)

Edgeplay: A Film About The Runaways is a fascinating documentary on The Runaways (produced and directed by former member Victory Tischler-Blue) made even more fascinating by Joan Jett's refusal to appear, or to allow her songs to be used. Sandy West's final scene in the film is a heart-breaking tale of her post-Runaways life; filmed a couple of years before her death from cancer, it seems this musical portion of her life was its nadir. Lita Ford, Cherie Currie and Kim Fowley are all here and tell a worthwhile tale of excessive rock and roll in big bad Los Angeles of the 70s.

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Dead Set (2008)

You don't have to know the reality show Big Brother (or be British) to relish the five hour E4 television series Dead Set. It's a comedic (but not too comedic) and horrifying (blood and guts...yum!) take on the zombie apocalypse that rivets you to the tube. Watch it right now...for free...online; I'm not kidding.

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Flower Drum Song (1961)

Flower Drum Song is lesser Rodgers and Hammerstein - way lesser. The story is dated and dull (as is lead Miyoshi Umeki) and the music is only somewhat memorable. This is supposedly the least grossing Rodgers and Hammerstein film and deserves that reputation.

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Orphan (2009)

Orphan needed a script parent to reel in some of the trite and ridiculous plot points but taut direction by Jaume Collet-Serra did keep me entertained and wondering how it would all play itself out. Vera Farmiga and most especially Isabelle Fuhrman are exceptional as the mother and titular child she and husband Peter Sarsgaard adopt; in fact, Fuhrman is so good she should have been rewarded with an Oscar nod. The ending is a tense-fest (with a classic line to end it all) but, when all is said and done, it seems more a lost opportunity than a good film.

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