Gloria Swanson in Yentl Territory?

Photographed by Edward Steichen 1924

Gloria Swanson, born on this date in 1899, would've been 17 years old in The Danger Girl, the frenetic twenty minute comedy supervised by Mack Sennett (and embedded below). With six (count 'em, six!) lead characters, Swanson stands out as the madcap who dresses as a man to lure her girl friend's boyfriend away from the other woman who is vamping him. It's all extremely complicated for twenty minutes but Swanson gets a chaste kiss on the cheek from the vamp (while she's dressed as a man) and moves further into Yentl territory when, dressed in a tuxedo with top hat, she comes out as a woman to the man she loves (her girl friend's boyfriend, no less) and gets a kiss from him too - all in 1916!

The Danger Girl 1916

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Mother's Day (2010)

Despite the horror cliches, Mother's Day, a remake of the 80s flick (which I never saw so I can't compare), has in its favor a creepy lead performance by Rebecca De Mornay - channeling her faux mother slash babysitter from 1992's The Hand That Rocks The Cradle. The acting, in general, is good (despite having to deal with some ridiculous plot points) and the film ends with a nice yet somewhat predictable twist so is passable for its genre. And yes, I had more sympathy for Ma and her kids than the people whom they are terrorizing - jeesh.

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The Women (2008)

Jungle Red, the fashion show and an all female cast are still part of The Women, a remake of the 1939 film version of the Clare Booth Luce play; unfortunately, humor, catty remarks and the original cast are missing. The movie is not unwatchable - it's just dull watching stock characters play out a one note script. Writer/director Diane English's fifteen year journey to remake the classic should've ended before it began.

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Harper Valley PTA (1978)

Today they'd call it stalking and bullying (and illegal to boot) but in 1978 Harper Valley PTA was just a good-ole boy redneck revenge comedy. Barbara Eden looks beautiful and does her best with the material but this is a three minute song extended into a two hour movie. Listen to the song and have dinner with a friend instead.

Barbara's 1967 solo LP

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The Charms of Louise Beavers

Louise Beavers (born this date, 1902) is largely remembered as Delilah, the pancake-making business partner/companion/maid opposite Claudette Colbert in the fascinating, racially-charged tale from 1934, Imitation Of Life. She worked steadily throughout a forty year career accumulating a long list of credits playing less complex versions of the same domestic servant character but was always a delight, especially in films like The Pickup, Made For Each Other and Mae West's She Done Him Wrong.

Ms. Beavers had a luminous smile and was in a select group of actresses (including Hattie McDaniel and Ethel Waters) who portrayed the housekeeper Beulah in the long-running radio and television comedy, The Beulah Show.

The Beulah Show

as Aunt Delilah in Imitation of Life
'the face that sold 32 million pancakes'

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Auntie Mame (1958)

Auntie Mame is a fantabulous comedy about a young boy raised by his quirky aunt; there is no music in this one but the film flows like a musical. Rosalind Russell is at the top of her game recreating Auntie Mame (a role she played on Broadway) and the script (adapted from the play which itself was adapted from the Patrick Dennis novel) is top-notch! Director Morton DeCosta (born this day, 1914) has created a fine film that, like its titular character, never gets old.

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In & Out (1997)

In & Out is the sweet but somewhat unbelievable coming out tale of a forty year old man in a small Midwest town. A genuinely funny script (by Paul Rudnick) and excellent performances (especially Kevin Kline, Joan Cusack and Tom Selleck) brought bemused tears to my eyes as the end credits rolled. It's not Preston Sturges but it's probably as close as we'll get in this decade.

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Steel Magnolias (2012)

Having now seen this remake of the Steel Magnolias I'd ask executive producer Queen Latifah one question: why? Nothing has been added to the original story by making all the characters black, the acting is hackneyed (excepting Jill Scott) and the movie is SO familiar it could be considered plagiarism. An integrated cast might have made this a more interesting remake but since that was not the road chosen, skip it.

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Dance Of The Dead (2008)

Had John Hughes (Pretty In Pink, The Breakfast Club) directed Return Of The Living Dead, it might have been similar to Dance Of The Dead, a sometimes over-the-top zomedy about teens kicking some dead ass. The script by Joe Ballarini is fun, the acting (by no one I've ever seen) is uniformly entertaining and it's got some original zombie moments. I'd go to director Gregg Bishop's dances any time.

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Kisses For My President (1964)

Kisses For My President is racist (all White House staff are black), misogynist (check out the ten minute strip club scene and the ending) and, more to the point, boring. The story of the first female president is actually the story of her poor husband, the first male First Lady, and badly riffs on Frank Capra's Mr. Smith Goes To Washington. Both Fred MacMurray and Polly Bergen (especially) are wasted as is the celluloid on which this one was developed.

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The Boy Friend (1971)

Ken Russell's 1971 film version of The Boy Friend is an alternative interpretation, weaving the basic plot of the musical into a more complicated story in which the seaside dramatic company performing the musical is visited by a scouting film producer on the very night that the leading lady (Glenda Jackson) is replaced by her shy understudy Polly Browne (Twiggy). All that said, it is charming and tuneful and buoyant as it pays homage to numerous Busby Berkeley and MGM movie musicals of the 1930s. The National Board of Review voted Russell best director and Twiggy won Golden Globe awards as best newcomer and best actress (musical/comedy), but the film did not make a significant impact monetarily, perhaps because MGM edited it down to 109 minutes from its currently available 136 minutes.

NOTES

which technically pushes the limits but this exception proves the blog

• There is a well known continuity error at the end of the film. The closing scene was filmed beside the real stage door of the New Theatre Royal, Portsmouth. This is located in a narrow side street marked off with yellow "No Waiting" lines. For the filming, these lines were very badly painted over with black paint leaving easily recognisable marks on the road.


• MGM/UA Classics' Michael Schlesinger reissued the full version theatrically in 1987. It was also released on laser disc and finally, in 2011, in a remastered edition.


• Wilson's original score was freely adapted and augmented by Peter Maxwell Davies for the film. Davies subsequently prepared (and recorded) a concert suite based on the music.

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The Legend of Lizzie Borden (1975)

After Elizabeth Montgomery made her career as a cute television witch, she turned her sights to portraying a fancy, historical bitch and drew raves from critics and audiences alike. The Legend of Lizzie Borden purports to solve the centuries old murder of Borden's parents and does it with style and significance. It's criminal (ba dump bump) that this movie has not had a home release; it's well-made and a true crime stunner that's involving and fascinating.

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Romy and Michelle: In The Beginning (2005)

OMFG, Romy and Michele: In The Beginning puts Katherine Heigl (blech!) and Alex Breckinridge (who?) screen center as younger and paler imitations of the characters from the beloved original who move to Los Angeles (again). This claptrap was written (and directed) by the same author (Robin Schiff) but has none of the intelligence or heart. Paula Abdul shows up for a paycheck as did, it seems, everyone ese.

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They Live (1988)

They Live is a freaky science fiction flick with a great lead performance by Roddy Piper, an awesome script by the pseudonymous John Carpenter, and careful direction from the real John Carpenter. Piper is a hot hunk (in great jeans, no less) who is able to see underneath people's skins to tell if they are an alien. This effect is done very well and is scary which gives the film, along with its other good qualities, a fascinating authenticity.

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The China Syndrome (1979)

Despite the polyester and wide lapels, The China Syndrome is still a relevant and troubling film about an accident in a nuclear power plant. The acting is excellent with stars Jane Fonda, Jack Lemmon and Michael Douglas joined by a stellar supporting cast including Peter Donat and Wilford Brimley. In an interesting subplot, the film fictionalizes the 1974 death of Karen Silkwood which was, itself, made into a movie starring Meryl Streep and Cher some four years later.

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Monsters (2010)

Monsters puts unlikeable protagonists on a journey to safety through alien-infected Mexico (no pun intended). Nothing much happens since the relationship between the protagonists - and not the aliens themselves - is the story, and the two people in the relationship are whining brats. There is a smidge of alienity but not enough to counteract having to watch the dregs of humanity.

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Come September (1961)

Come September has one thing in its favor: Gina Lollobrigida. This Italian bombshell is so tantalizing she can even get a rise (albeit a small one) out of pathetic co-star Rock Hudson. But when real-life newlyweds Sandra Dee and Bobby Darin are thrown in as a couple of doe-eyed teens, I couldn't wait for September to leave.

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Red (2010)

Mary-Louise Parker lives out the adventurous romance novels she has only read when CIA man Bruce Willis drops by for a visit in RED, an action film that does not condescend. The script has some genuine laughs including putting Dame Helen Mirren (in a somewhat obvious performance) behind a gun. It's nice to see actors of a certain age getting into the rough and tumble

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Arizona (1940)

With Jean Arthur playing a MILF who knows how to use a gun AND how to bake a pie AND how to get the younger William Holden (in a very early role) as her husband, Arizona might be the first pre-feminist feminist western. The film does an excellent job of conveying the rough and ready 1800s.

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The Devil Within Her (1975)

Joan Collins is quite effective as the put-upon mom who has The Devil Within Her (titled I Don't Want To Be Born in the UK) in this 1975 stew of The Omen and The Exorcist, sprinkled with a dash of The Bad Seed. The evil dwarf and Sister/sister subplots are a little hard to take but the baby daddy drama is involving. Oh, and if you like cuteness, the possessed baby is very cute.

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The Town That Dreaded Sundown (1976)

A somewhat slow-moving potboiler that has enough blood to give it horror credentials, The Town That Dreaded Sundown is based on the true story of a serial killer that preyed on Texarkana, AK and Texarkana, TX during the late 40s. The movie is a precursor to the 80s slasher films without the jumps. Ben Johnson as the top cop and Dawn Wells in a small yet pivotal role as a victim are fine but it's just a rundown story.

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The Invasion (2007)

Despite my distaste for Nicole Kidman and her plastic face, my desire to see The Invasion, the remake of two previous classic body snatcher films, was very high. There are slight differences to the story that does not detract and the first two thirds of the film was involving. But the last third contained action sequences that came out of nowhere and had a tacked on happy ending that snatched the whole movie-going experience from my body.

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The Screaming Woman (1972)

Olivia de Havilland earned her creepy-sweet chops before The Screaming Woman, a 1972 ABC Movie of the Week film presentation, but for this creepy-sweet performance she winningly recalls her 1948 Oscar winning role in The Snake Pit as a woman just released from an institution who hears the voice of another women buried under a foundation on her property. The script, loosely based on a Ray Bradbury story, is not a mystery as we are witness to all the comings and goings but there are some genuinely thrilling moments and frightening shots - and de Havilland can scream with the best of them. They really don't make television movies like this anymore so it would behoove you to check it out on my YouTube channel.






Visit braineater.com for more info on The Screaming Woman

* The Screaming Woman is considered in the public domain.

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The Well (1951)

The Well is an uncompromising, racially charged drama that pits white against black amidst the investigation into the disappearance of a black female child. Although the idiocy of the white racist characters comes off the worst, the film does not pander by putting the black characters on a pedestal. Yes, this story has been done before (life imitated art a little over a decade ago) but The Well still never ceases to make me well up - with anger and with joy.

Click the poster to read more on The Well

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Garbo Talks (1984)

The legacy of Greta Garbo is such that the only time Garbo Talks (a movie that uses her appearance on screen as a denouement) comes alive is when Garbo herself is on screen - and she is silently portrayed by an actress! The movie itself is a pastiche of events in the life of a guy as he runs around New York City trying to find the legendary recluse for a visit with his dying mother (Anne Bancroft in an over-the-top performance as a Jewish mother that was almost distasteful). The film's creators ladled on the quirk factor while sprinkling emotion only slightly in this one.

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