Only When I Laugh (1981)

Neil Simon should have done more research about alcoholism before writing Only When I Laugh because Marsha Mason does not live (or in this case, act) like any alcoholic that I've known (and I've known a few). The script is dated, full of stagey one-liners in place of characterization and ends sappily with a metaphoric Hollywood hug between Mason and her chip-off-the-old-block daughter, Kristy McNichol. The saving graces are the supporting performances from James Coco and Joan Hackett who bring truth to their contrived lines.

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Fallen (1998)

Fallen is somewhat interesting but lacks the realism a story about demons needs to be successful (as in The Exorcist). The acting is fine but I couldn't help but wondering how Denzel Washington could say the demon's name - Azazel - with a straight face. Perhaps the story's creators are atheist or agnostic because this movie about religion's discarded plays like a movie.

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Gin gwai - The Eye (2002)

Atmospheric and surprisingly tender, Gin gwai (The Eye) is one hell of a ghost story. The Pang Brothers have fashioned a fascinating and scary script (much of it straight out of the headlines) and hired some excellent actors (including Lee Sin-Je, Lawrence Chou, Sue Yuen Wang and Chutcha Rujinanon) to tell this creepy story of supernatural sight. Watch it with the lights out.

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Guess Who's Coming To Dinner (1967)

Forty years on, Guess Who's Coming to Dinner is still relevant and not in the least dated. Katherine Hepburn won an Academy Award for her performance but Spencer Tracy and Beah Richards match her word for word - with able support from Sidney Poitier, Katherine Houghton (Hepburn's niece) and Isabel Sanford in a small yet pivotal role. The San Francisco location (with an opening nod to San Jose), the excellence of Stanley Kramer's direction and the intelligence of William Rose's script make this one never to be missed.

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The Garden (2006)

The Garden is a somewhat interesting flick about Satan, the Garden of Eden and the four horsemen of the apocalypse getting into it with a very special young boy (Brian Wimmer). Lance Henrikson is his usual involving self and Sean Young also redeems nicely but the story is muddled and the ending downright confusing. Maybe someone who is not a Jew would understand it better - or maybe not.

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The Dentist (1996)

The Dentist is squirm-inducing and creepy. Corbin Bernson as the titular lunatic hits just the right notes and the drill used throughout the movie made me close my ears more than once in shivers. It's not the best horror film but it is effective.

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Set It Off (1996)

Set It Off is interesting because it is about four females that rob banks; had the producers hired four males, the script's shortcomings would have been too pronounced. Instead we get good acting from Queen Latifah, Viveca A. Fox, Jada Pinkett and Kimberly Elise in something that starts as a buddy flick and ends...um...not as a buddy flick. Ultimately, it's convoluted and unbelievable.

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The Unborn (2009)

Who knew The Unborn was going to be a Jewish version of The Exorcist? Who knew it would feature Gary Oldman, Jane Alexander and a girl who looks just like Megan Fox? Who knew, at 88 minutes, it would feel like an eternity?

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Travels With My Aunt (1972)

Travels With My Aunt is Auntie Mame with an adult nephew, no humor and no emotional core. Maggie Smith (as directed by George Cukor) is a bit much as Aunt Augusta but early career performances by Louis Gossett, Jr. and Cindy Williams make up for it. All in all though, travel with a different companion because this aunt is kind of a bore.

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Mars Attacks! (1996)

Mars Attacks!, a play on the science fiction movies made in the 50s (I think) might have been good had it been funny. It also might have been good had it been scary. Too bad it's just plain boring.

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WΔZ aka The Killing Gene (2006)

WΔZ (W Delta Z) is a gritty, low budget police drama that kept me guessing until the end - pretty hard thing to do nowadays. Stellan Skarsgård, Selma Blair and Melissa George are excellent although the film is lit so darkly it's often hard to see. Grim and horrific scenes add to the melee but this is not a horror movie - or maybe I should write this is thinking man's horror.

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The Machine Girl (2008)

The Machine Girl not only has a machine gun for a left arm but she has a lot of heart - which makes this bloody tale of revenge so much fun to watch. Minase Yashiro (in her film debut) is so good as the titular heroine (as is Amashi and the others) and commitment is what pulls off this genuine Grindhouse picture. The over-the-top blood letting out Tarentinos Tarantino but writer/director Noburu Iguchi brings it!

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The Glass House (2001)

The Glass House is a mundane thriller (about two kids whose parents are suddenly killed) with a mundane script and a mundane lead performance from Leelee Sobieski as one of the newly crowned orphans. Diane Lane and Stellan Skarsgård take a back seat but I can't imagine that was anything more (or less) than they expected when the acting contract was signed. I guess they (and more than a bunch of people involved with this piffle) just needed the cash.

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Thank God It's Friday (1978)

No matter what anyone says, Thank God It's Friday is a time capsule of what it felt like to spend an evening in a 70s disco. Sure it might be contrived and each character is more an archetype than an individual but if you are too young to have lived through it, this pretty much sums up the energy: straights and gays, teens trying to get in, drugs (notice the poppers), assholes, dancing and the ubiquitous music. Ahhhh, those were the days.

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Rock Star (2001)

Rock Star should be believed as it is based on the true story of the lead singer of a cover band who gets a chance to be the lead singer of the band his cover band is covering - got it? But Mark Wahlberg's character is unbelievable, and Jennifer Aniston is just to good to believe. The movie is also bland, having left only a glimmer of sex and drugs from the requisite formula of sex, drugs, and rock and roll.

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Girls Just Want To Have Fun (1985)

Robert Hazard should be ashamed for allowing his song Girls Just Want to Have Fun to be made into a movie about a girl who wants to win the Dance TV dance contest (a la Hairspray). Cyndi Lauper should be proud that she did not allow her version of the song to be used in the Girls Just Want To Have Fun movie. Sarah Jessica Parker should be glad she was a teenager and not responsible for her own actions.

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The Taking of Pelham One Two Three (1974)

Not much exciting going on in The Taking of Pelham One Two Three despite the thriller label. Sure it's about the hijacking of a New York subway train but you already know who the villains are, the cops (almost) never leave the station, and the film is as stagnant as the subway car that never moves. Most interesting though is the very end; too bad they didn't start there and move backwards.

Baby Boom (1987)

Baby Boom is one of the 80s remaining treasures. Diane Keaton is wonderful as the advertising executive who finds herself the parent to an absolutely adorable little girl and she carries this huge box office hit (as well as two babies playing the one). It's simplistic and endearing and almost a throwback to the idealistic flicks of Frank Capra - but not quite.

He's Just Not That Into You (2009)

Ginifer Godwin (so good in Big Love) is so annoying and the denouement of her story line with Justin Long so unbelievable that everything that might be good about He's Just Not That Into You pales in comparison. Jennifer Aniston and Ben Affleck are fine, Scarlett Johanssen and Bradley Cooper are hot, Drew Barrymore and Jennifer Connelly are depressed and the gays are in as the second bananas but this Sex and the City knock-off hasn't anything more worth discussing - except that Kris Kristofferson plays Aniston's father here, Marlo Thomas played Aniston's mother in Friends and the two actors starred together in 1984's The Lost Honor of Kathryn Beck. In the end this chick flick fails to click.

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The Road (2009)

The Road is a dick flick as the bond between father and son is portrayed in this post-apocalyptic road movie. Unfortunately, we don't actually see any real post-apocalyptic cannibalism which makes the flick anti-climactic. We do hear talk, talk, talk and we do see Viggo Mortenson and boy running away from cannibalistic confrontation after cannibalistic confrontation in this adaptation of the Pulitzer Prize-winning novel; must be a dramar but it was still anti-climactic.

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Martyrs (2008)

Martyrs is not a horror film but a dramatic film with scenes of such horrifying violence that I had to stop and watch the last half of the film the next day. It's a mesmerizing and very difficult viewing with a fascinating payoff that is almost existentialist (maybe). Many will not be able to stomach it but those who do will be rewarded intellectually and viscerally.

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The Trouble With Angels (1966)

When I was young, watching The Trouble With Angels was an emotional maelstrom; from I've got the most scathingly brilliant idea to Mary's final brilliant idea, I was always a crying mess. Now I'm an adult and the whole religious indoctrination thing comes into play (and is really annoying) so although I'm not as emotionally debilitated as before, Rosalind Russell and Hayley Mills (and Marge Redmond and Gypsy Rose Lee and Jue Harding and Mary Wickes and...) are still a hoot. And what's to dislike about a film directed by Ida Lupino?

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Dark Victory (1976)

Elizabeth Montgomery is a wonderful actress but not so much in Dark Victory, a made for television version of the 1939 Bette Davis weeper. The morning show producer she plays is harsh, cold and self-centered, and it's hard to imagine anyone falling in love with her - which is the core of the story. Despite a good performance from Anthony Hopkins, this victory is way too long and should have been left in the dark (although Elizabeth's smile in the final frame lights up the screen).

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Taken (2008)

The most interesting thing about Taken is how the writer managed to find a new nationality (Albanians) to be the terrorists. The story (which plays dangerously close to Hardcore, the George C. Scott film from 1980) is about an annoyingly entitled girl, kidnapped into the sex trade, and her father who kills anyone to get her back. No spoilers there and no surprises as you watch; you know exactly how this calculated film will end when you read the poster.

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All of Me (1984)

The 1984 comedy All of Me is unbelievably ho-hum and not intrinsically funny. Steve Martin is excellent and Lily Tomlin is...well...Lily Tomlin so the movie holds some interest but its no silk purse. To this day it remains a mystery to me how this movie became a huge box office hit.

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