Ted (2012)

If you can imagine a comedy in which overused 80s references masquerade as jokes, a romance in which Mila Kunis and Mark Wahlberg have no chemistry and a script which doesn't recognize that its story has two magical wishes (not one), you can imagine Ted, Seth McFarlane's attempt at something. If you can imagine characters having less substance than a teddy bear filled with cotton, Ryan Reynolds and Patrick Warburton as a gay couple and Norah Jones fucking, you can imagine Ted, Seth McFarlane's attempt at something. If you can imagine all this, you've got the most notable aspects of Ted, Seth McFarlane's attempt at ... oh, a first movie.

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Rock Star (2001)

Rock Star should be believed as it is based on the true story of the lead singer of a cover band who gets a chance to be the lead singer of the band his cover band is covering - got it? But Mark Wahlberg's character is unbelievable, and Jennifer Aniston is just to good to believe. The movie is also bland, having left only a glimmer of sex and drugs from the requisite formula of sex, drugs, and rock and roll.

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