...A Chorus Line (1985)

You know something's wrong when the best part of a movie (in this case, A Chorus Line) is a performance by Audrey Landers, the blonde pseudo-icon most infamous for roles in the late 70s/early 80s trash triad of The Love Boat, Fantasy Island, and Dallas. For reasons known only to himself, director Richard Attenborough has selected a cast to play Broadway gypsies who can't carry a tune and, with the exception of Michelle Johnston, Charles MacGowan, and the late Gregg Burge, can't dance with any semblance of energy or panache. And every time non-actor/non-singer/non-dancer Michael Douglas and the screamingly bland Alyson Reed (in the woefully rewritten role of Cassie) appear on screen, I am reminded of just how ridiculously they have appropriated an honest, emotional, and raw piece of theatre and turned it into a treacly, hopelessly dated (parachute pants?) and sour piece of shitema.