...Poseidon (2006)

Yes, it's got a big, fuckin' wave; yes, a ship turns over on New Year's Eve; and yes, some make it and others don't but, those similarities aside, Poseidon, the 2006 remake of the 1974 adventure, is predictably void of anything resembling the excitement or originality of the original. It settles for Emmy Rossum as a vapid, prattle-on girl, Kurt Russell as her annoyingly right-wingesque father, and Richard Dreyfuss - ridiculous as a fussbudget, wimp of a gay man on the verge of suicide (shades of Boys in the Band) that I would like to murder myself. Although watching Josh Lucas doing his best Gene Hackman impersonation alarmingly made the trip almost palatable, I'd still rather see Maureen McGovern (singing The Morning After) than Stacy Ferguson (aka Fergie) doing her shtick with whatever piece of crap was put in front of her.